The Begining

  It's the Day before Turkey-day and I have a lot of memories going in my head right now, because last year at this time was when my world would start to change. Pookie got a huge opportunity to come to Florida and work in this field of 3-D animation and I felt I had to no that's the wrong word I wanted to stand behind him and give him this change to make this happen for him and for us. He's working to make us a life and make our family strong..Now what I have to do is find the courage in me to realize this is important and I can't be side because life is different. I have to know that life is change or better yet an adventure because if u don't keep playing the game what's the point?

   What I mean by that is I have to find my smile I have to find my joy and bring it to us as a couple and what we are building and have together.  I know things are not always rose's and rainbow's and that's OK because when they are there fabulous and when there not well that's OK because with us a deal is a deal and there is no escape...:)

The Crack In My Bling

  Something I don't think they tell u when your  growing  up is the  fact  that they { meaning people} make it always seem that life as a grown up is a time of adventure and fun and beauty. However I am hear to say  that cannot  be farther from the truth...I wish so much that now  a day's kid's were not in such a hurry to grow up and take the time to make sure they enjoy there child hood's while they can. I mean what happened to ridding bikes and playing hide and seek or freeze tag there were so many funny thing growing up that I would not change for the world.  In fact I remember My MOM trying to teach me how to skate NO not roller blade I mean Roller skate because that's how we do it.

   What's funny to me is people are so serious all the time I mean yes Life can be hard but it's up to us weather we allow our self's to get old and be unhappy, let's face it unless your going to live with mom and dad for ever u have to get out and go into the big bad world to find your spin on it and how u can make your story the best it can be.  What people I think don't understand is the hardest part about growing up is the  stress and what it does to you and how your body reacts to it. However weather or not we play is up to us and that alone is a stress buster like no other.

Sugar and spice but i's still so nice

   It's funny to me sometimes when u learn things about yourself and what's strange is when u learn these things u then have to decided how your going to handle what ever life has started to trow at you. I have just learned that I am diabetic and what that has done is opened my eyes to the fact that I make the choice and the decision on how to take care of my self and what I am going to do with this knowledge.
    Instead of worrying I have decided to use this as a goal to better my self and make my self a better person...what I have learned that's really strange is the fact that I never realized how my out of control sugar made me nutty, and what I mean buy that is my mood's were so out of control at times..
    No more mood swings for me {lucky pookie}  and also I have lost weight but what's interesting about this is weight has always been an issue in my life growing up because I'm not a size 33 but that's fine that was a goal I let go years ago because I realized that for me that was not a healthy goal and I hated starving my self.
   My goal is not really weight loss because that's an effect that I see coming from what I'm doing, my goal is to be healthy and be able to do more and not have pain, I defy someone to say well ye I'm larger but I don't hurt the fact is you may not hurt know but u will hurt and if u wait to long it may be to late to do anything about it. Life is short but it's also a gift you only get once and there is no receipt for the return.

    I know this I may be turning 40 in march but I'm proud to know I can still learn, I'm proud I am not scared of change, and I'm proud and lucky that my pookie is so supportive because if he were not I do wonder if this journey would be one I could have been on at all.

Have you seen the sign

•    It's strange to me me how we walk around never looking at what's in front of us or better yet waiting for the world to tell us what we should do or better yet to guide us in the direction we are meant to go in..Because if we do that it's mystic mumbo jumbo or hocus pocus and is that a bad thing?
•    We recently adopted to small kitten's what was funny about it was we were looking for a puppy and even though we saw dog's that were beautiful and loving we did not see the one that spoke to us. However on our visit to the humane society we saw these two little kittens who were playing with each other and seemed to sparkle like shadows given life. Something strange did happen though I could not get them out of my mind and after finding out no one had looked at them because of the superstitious nature that many people have made me realize even more that they were meant to come home with us.
•    What I found funny is the fact that I was a little worried if we were doing the right thing adopting both of them I kept seeing things that were twin related, almost as if the world the universe was saying "bring those baby's home".
•    The other event that struck me was the fact that I got a body pillow and in theory it's great but it meant separating the bed between pookie and I and I could not figure out what this caused me issue's sleeping because I was not watching or listening to the sign's the truth is I like being able to hold him at night and feel his warmth maybe get a little kiss or cop a feel :) once I listen to what I was being told I understood what I needed to do. 
•   Sign's are all around us and what the world wants us to know is all around us, however we have to listen we need to let go of our ego and listen which is truly one of the hardest things we as humans as people can ever do.

Tag are you still it?

I have found latly that I have started looking at the difference at how friendships are now vs. how they were as kids. I almost find it sad in some ways that the innocens we had we no longer have and unfortunaly because of that it is hard to see the beauty and the magic in friendships and what they bring.
When were kids we see everyone we know as a friend and we call them such even though on some level we know that these people are in our life's for a briff moment however it's a moment we need so that we will go on to the next level of what our life is suppose to be. Moving to florida has been a learning exsperence for me and what I see for my self and how I see the making of friendships and what they mean to me and truly the new rules of what they mean now at an older age.
I however am Lucky because I do have the pleasuere of having true friends and know the deepness in it of having the kind of friends who will do goffy things with me and not feel silly about it. My best friend knows my crazy and she still loves me even though I know there are times when she tell's me (YOUE SUCH A BOY) That's fine in my book. I hope my friends know that the magic that friends bring is a spell that really and truly can never be undone and because of that distance is just a seperation of space never of hart the way it is truly meant to be.

Understanding the true and hardest power to master

I find that at times understaning is the hardest thing to have in a relationship, because it call's for true unslelveshniss from one or both parts of the couple..I mean what do you do if you understand on some level you must play the supporting actor or sidekick to your partner because at this moment they have a chance to shine, and true love mean's giving your partner that chance so they have grow and learn and become what ever the next step for them is. I find that sometimes the person who is playing the back seat roll in fact has the harder role to play because there is no glory and attention, however you have to be fine with that knowing what your doing is very important in the long run.

When pookie and I made the desishion to come to florida I knew one major thing coming out here and that was a could not show fear I had to stand behind him and give him the courage I know he will need to be a success like I know he will be. I am human after all and I can't help the fact that at times I do feel a huge amount of envy and pride it's a very strange feeling at times makes me almost believe I'm dealing with sin, which in a strange way would be right because while I am feeling envy and sin I have love and lust for what he gift's me with..secerity and Life.

Some may think at times that I'm looking at life to old fasion in the way I take care of pookie and the things in my mind I feel are important to make sure I have done for him so that he can go forward and do what he needs to. Understanding is a heavy burddon to bear but I know one thing and maybe one thing only it's a burdon I must not only be willing to carry but find pride in carrying because I to am an important player in this story , while I am not be the hero the fact of the matter is the side kick does all he can to make the hero the star. So I know it's time to make my pookie shine all the time and however I can.

Loneliness is it a state of mind?

It's funny to me the longer we're here in Florida the more i find I keep looking at things that use to make me smile and laugh like i did as a kid. I find that I'm going on netflix and finding cartoon's and TV shows I use to watch, I do sometimes wonder if I'm doing this as a way to cope with my loneliness so that I can take it one moment at a time so I can deal with it in away that will allow me to not be over whelmed at any moment.

One thing I wish is that I knew someone who had already gone through this however I have to understand that everyone story is different and because of that, someone else who may have moved out here to east from west coast will not be going through the same things as I am.

Now what is funny is even though Pookie and I are both going through this at the same time, to tell the truth we are not, because he has a 2 month head start at understanding the different rules we now live under to a certain degree. I find now I have a certain amount of anger at times towards pookie even though I'm the one who told him to take this chance and go for it. I guess because I have no friends per say yet it makes it harder for me at times to understand what my new life has to offer and allow my self to step out of the fear and embrace this for what it is. The adventure of a life time.

the funny thing is as we get older we sometimes I believe thing that out time for adventure is over, I mean why not when we get a certain age were suppose to be settled and boring or so it seems, but why I bough in to this image is beyond me I mean what's wrong with making my own rules as we go along and decided for our self's what works and what does not work for us.. I

I know that dreams don't really die they do change and what my dreams's are now becoming I'm not 100% sure of however I do know this. I am very excited to ride the wave now just have to see were it takes me...:)

Dream, wish laugh never stop

It's funny to me at times the thing's I can hear people say when they think I'm not listening..if you ever want to learn about people listen to what they are truly saying at times. I always hear people complaining about what life "Owes them" vs. what they can do for them self's and for life.

I'm learning so much about my self with this move to the east coast vs. living on the west coast..I have learned that creating a new life for pookie and my self means being braver than I though possible, however I am also learning that I need to make sure before I get in to a point of complaining about life I realize Life is pretty good..

I have known people who have fought off cancer and have dealt with HIV people who find the smile's and the dreams that life still have to offer and never seem to see the shadow's life can have at time's...

Life is what we make of it, life is full of dreams that have yet to come true, so what we do in a moment with these dream's with these's wish's is in many ways a defining moment to who and what we will be.

Making a home never as easy as it looks

I know making a home is not an easy thing to do no matter who you are, or how you do it. I find living here in Florida in our new apartment is surreal at times, because when we lived in California it was very hard for us or better yet me to figure out how to make a home for us, now I know we are a couple and all decisions should be with us, however I do feel it is my job to make him a home he's proud of and can come home to and relax and De-stress..now do I expect that effect from him, no and it's not because I don't think it's something he can't do but it's something I don't expect him to do.

I know we are a team in what we do and how we do it, however that being said it was not till getting out here to Florida I have come to truly understand the role that the partner has to do to truly make a true partnership work and grow as it should..it seems to me at times that people don't seems to realize that relationships have UPS and Downs and with that the understanding that true work goes into make a life a home.

I want our home to be filled with love with laughter with good times and I know it will come sometimes with the bad, however I also know it will be up to me to make that choice on whether I will let the bad over whelmed the good at all times. I know it will take sometime before my home is ready but I do know that our home is underway to being the 1st step in the foundation that will be our future..

Time is like the taffy of our life

One thing I am noticing living here in Florida is I feel like My present and my past are one and the same. What I mean buy that is the fact that as my day goes on I can't help but wondering what's going on with both family and friends on the west coast..By that how are thing's in the past, while I am in the present, or better yet am I truly in the present while my mind is in the past.

I wish there was a book or someone you could talk to to help you understand the In's and the outs of for a better word starting a new life...also what no one can help you understand is with starting the new life do you have to leave the old completely behind or better yet were do you find the room for it. Also what are the rules or better yet are there rules that you need to live by.

I feel that in the present I am trying to find passion in my new life because I need to find understanding of what this new life is and what it means.

Time is neither friend nor foe I find but it is almost like a true lover who can gift you with a gentle kiss or a passionate embrace...Time is what we make of it and time is not written in what is to be, however time is what we make it to be and what it could be.

Nanna and the little burger

Over eighteen years ago my sister gifted our family with the 1st child to come to us from heaven...this little child with large black diamond eye's and a smile of cotton candy, a child who was surrounded with so much love that no child could have been more wanted or loved.

As this child has grown and blossomed like a true flower she has had laughter she has had tears, but what she has had more than anything else is Love and from that she gets an inner strength she has yet to truly tap into and find the inner depths of what she can do.

This child had a loss on her way to the start of woman hood, however even though she has had the loss of her nanna, this small ame slider has taken that to become a full and juicy burger with cheese and all the fixings.

This child this young woman, this princess is under way's to being a fabulous adult one who takes with her a nanna who loved her more that anything and if she could have gotten away with it, might have kept her, {to her mothers chagrin}

Now this former child, new young woman is dealing with the negativity the world can and often throw at you and thanks to all of the love she had is finding the skills she needs to take with her in to full adult hood to make sure she always knows her self worth and her true value..she always knows that who she is and what she will become will never depend on an out side source but will depend on what she believes with in her self.

This young woman this fabulous former child is a true star in the sky yet like most most star's she will just grow brighter and brighter for years because it will be a long time before this star no longer burns like she should, so the sky the universe is the limit my sweet sweet ame and remember always believe in what ever you do, because your family my love believes in you.

Learn it Live it.

It's funny to me some time's how everyday seems to be in away unreal, in fact more of that seems at times to come from the fact that I still have all my friends and family on the west cost, I'm learning about life and learning about people and what's funny in a strange way is feeling like I have to on a certain level be guarded and careful of making sure no one gets to close yet..I don't know why I feel like that but it feels on a certain level It's something I have to do for my self and use this as a tool to guard my self and be ready for what live has to offer.

What is interesting to me is people out here I will say that the more layed back attitude here seems to be for my liking and the sun the openness is great, I also feel safe which is saying allot for going from the west to the east cost at this age. This adventer would be better if I could have everyone here but hey you can't have everything can you.

I will say this I do wish pookie did not have to work so much cause it does get a little lonely however I do realize this is an amazing opportunity for him and even if I feel lonely I know that his heart is with me everyday...I know this adv enter is just getting started but what I take from this will be on me and no one else.

yummy yummy for my tummy

Food and I have had a adversarial relationship from the get go and what's worse is knowing that at time I see food as a shield to help me hide when I might be feeling over whelmed by life or what life decides to throw at me and whether or not I'm ready for what ever that might be. I know as a "fatty" or "big Girl" that we always find ways to cope with what ever may be bothering us no matter what the issue or situation that comes along...What I find interesting is that people who get along with food do not understand that eating as a drug vs. eating for hunger is a very different thing...who knows I maybe able to go to celebrity rehab one day and get this under control...but then again I may make the worlds best chief who knows....

when is it time to scream

This Florida adventure has it's UPS and it's Downs and no matter how much I wish other wise is not perfect...The part that I find not to be perfect is truly how much Pookie works and the fact he has a two mouth start on understanding the In's and the outs of living here on the east cost understanding here, I know it should not matter but on some level it does because I feel like I'm catching up with him and what he has gone and is going through. I find I miss more people than I thought I would because I had though that because I missed pookie so much that's all I would nee, however I find that it's more than that I miss more than people and to be honest missed seems like a word to not fully be able to explain what I am feeling..what is also strange is that I miss place's as well and event's as well...I know I will come to understand and I know I will become more comfortable with my new life/adventure, I know life is what we make of it however what I am still trying to decide is what I am trying to make at this point.

Your Never To Old to Grow

I have found over the Last few weeks I'm looking at my self in a truly different way, I'm looking at what makes me a person, what makes me a man, what makes me for not another word me.

I am looking at how to let negativity go and to learn to savor moments for what they are and not worry about what they should be. I find sometimes people worry way to much about what moments should be and just don't except them.

Today I had the pleasure to spend this Sunday with my best friend in the whole world, my La Mari, we did breakfast, we did a movie we did Costco and took a walk at an orange grove.

Spending time with my friend let's me relax and enjoy the day and always it helps me realize the day is not my right but a gift I was given by God...I have come to realize more and more lately there is a higher power that is directing me a little more than ever before with my life.

the biggest difference I see from now from when I was younger is the fact I am ready to listen and be thankful for what is happening in my and pookie's life.

I feel at thirty eight I can and should see life not as a challenge but as a glorious adventure I am able to go on with true love in my pocket and amazing friends at my back with loving family waiting in the wings....

I wonder sometimes why did I finally hear what needed to happen, why was I know Strong enough or humble enough to listen to my little bird...My answer I don't know but I am blessed that I finally have.

From climbing a tree to moving across the country I know that I can't let fear rule my life, because If I do then it stops being life....The fact is however long we are allowed to be on this plant in this world, we need to live every moment and never take that for granted, because I know there are people out there who would trade place's with any of us in a moment..

The Saying is we don't stop playing cause we grow old/ we grow old because we stop playing..I for one will play for as long as I can..

The true Prison of Love

With Valentines day coming up it's funny to me the reaction people seem to have about this holiday. The almost forced way people feel they must show affection, they must be romantic, they must give gift's.

What I wonder is why people don't show love all the time? I mean if you are blessed to have someone to share your life with to laugh at your dumb jokes, why are you not letting them know how important they are to you and how much they mean to you.

Why do so many people bash there love one i mean what is the point for that..if you loved them why not remember what you loved about them and use that as a foundation to create and grow what the relationship is suppose to be.

What I have learned with pookie is not to play that game of "trying to change him" I mean what is the point of that, if I didn't love him with the good and the bad then why be with him...it makes no sense to me.

With pookie's love I found my friend, a love a playmate I found someone who laughs with me who will cry with me I found Love....I found my one my true and my last and only Valentine.

I found what people write about I hope more people. break out of the prison they have put there heart in and allow them self the chance to truly love and there by allow them selfs to be loved in return.....

So to my Valentine Mr. Gary Jess Carrillo A.K.A Pookie....thank you baby for allowing and showing me how to love and be loved,
Your love is sweeter than candy and more tasty then tacho's....

The Mystery of the boxes

This moving experience is by far not an easy adventure to undertake no matter who you are what what resource's you have at your disposal...Moving is taking your life and taking stock of it before re staring that life in a different destination.

It seems that we can be bogged down in what we believe are memories and what have you, but the truth of the matter is what in some case's are these so called memories attached to that we find them sooo important at the time.

What I find difficult in this part of our adventure is that fact that I am facing these memories alone and in many case's having to make the decision or choice on what's worth taking Vs. what is not.

Some would say that "that's easy just let go" but the fact is that when faced it a moment how do you let it go, and just because the physical part of the moment is let go do we truly loose that moment all together.

I know this move will be a glorious adventure for us with a glorious outcome on the other end, but I so wish we could have done this differently.

I will say this even at thirty eight it's nice to know I can still grow and I can still learn about my self..knowing that I'm stronger than I believed is a nice feeling and helps me know I am truly a better and stronger partner for pookie than I even knew I was before...

Learning and growing it seems never stops no matter the age and that's a good thing...

The saying is you can't teach an old dog new tricks but I guess in my case as long as the dog is fabulous we can still learn...

The day's are counting down and the boxes are getting packed so we need to keep going no matter what cause turning back is not an option and that's o.k with me.

Good Fag Hag is hard to find.

It's funny to me to see the reaction Mari and I get from our men...we seem many times to get the look of confusion or a look of ammmmm o.k sure what ever you guys want to do.

What I find funny with My friendship with mari is the fact that together we don't need to do anything big to have a good time..last weekend we went to Costco for a couple of hours and had a blast..I mean who does that, answer we do..

It's to bad more people don't have that kind of friendship or closeness with someone now a days it always seems that people are so busy and wrapped up in them self's that they forget to keep friendships going.

Relationships take work so why do some many people think there easy, because there not, I mean do mari and I always agree, answer no not by a long shot but we do know enough to be honest and talk it out..why because were friends...

La Mari may not be going with me to Florida in person however what she does not know is she will be there is spirt and with her fabulousness...I will have my La Mari Hot line and she has a place to vacation when ever she wants..(she can bring the husband if she has to )

A good fag hag is hard to find so I thank the lord I found the best in Mrs...La Mari {fag Hag} flores-Garcia..

Home is wear the pookie is

What's interesting about this adventure I'm on with pookie is all the 1st time things were doing together, like moving across country, getting a puppy and finding a new apartment, but it's not any apartment it's our big boy home..

We feel like the years we have been together are years were we have grown and we have learned, but the best part is were doing it with each other all the way...yes we each have our own chapter to this storey we are writing but the best part is how we are making sure our stories are always part of each other..

It's an amazing feeling to me to have an amazing man like pookie do all this to bring me home to him, to build a life with him and always thinking about what will make me happy no matter if he thinks it's crazy or not..:)

Pookie told me tonight we may have found us a home and the grown up way we are speaking about this is amazing given how we were nine years ago, just two sexy homo's in love with out a care in the world.

now we talk about whether it has a place for a washer and dryer, what's the fridge like and do we have closet space..it's great...What's really fun is the fact that this place pookie found would allow me to paint, I mean man my inner fabulousness will spill out I mean I would have to control my self with this, but wow and what's funny is pookie laughs about it and says I'm cute, of course I hope he still feels like that when our living room is purple.

The one thing I know is that this will allow me to make pookie the most amazing home ever if I do say so my self..and of course I do....

Does the outside match the inside..

I have had many conversations ,resonantly with friends like my self who are older about what it feels like to be older and if we do feel a difference.

When your young it seems you cant wait to grow up, to drive to have so called freedom. What I have to wonder is if we are ever as free as we are when we are children...

When you have that new wonder of like, as you learn and experience things for the 1st time, why is it we don't have the insight to know what we are going through is the magic of a new moment, a moment we will never see through new eyes again.

Sometimes I wish I could tell the younger me to lighten up a little and enjoy life the good and the bad, and that's another thing I am not 100% sure of and that is why we seem to believe life is suppose to be perfect at all times..I mean if it was would we learn what we are suppose to from what ever journey we are on.

When I was younger I loved aspects of my child hood with a vengeance..I mean I loved turning my G.I Joe's in to superheroes, making up stories of what there adventures are and will be..I learned you to love the word and the magic of fantasy and it's ability to take you to wear ever you want to go....

Being with pookie is interesting at times because he is younger, yet act's older than I do, but when I say that is it that he acts older I like a big child or better yet he acts just like he's suppose to and would be the same no matter what age he may be?

I say instead of the complaining many people do about everything, why not enjoy iife and what you have, not whine about what you don't...take a nap take a walk holding the hand of your lover, eat with no spoons, feel as young as you can with out the so called rules..remember we don't stop playing cause we grow old, we grow old cause we stop playing...

The Little things mean the most, but the big things are fabulous!!

I am in the second part of this journey with pookie as we get ready to close the chapter of our life that is California and getting ready to start the new chapter that is Florida...

What's so exciting is that we are doing this together at what seems a time in our life that we have both strength and courage not only with in our self's but what we give each other....

What I find right now is that pookie and I are finding new ways to show each other how much me love each other, how important we find each other in new ways...the distance we have right now between us means that we need to think, we need to make sure not to take each other for granted..

At time's when you have your lover with you it's easy to get to the point when you might not always go that extra mile to make sure your lover,partner, husband,wife knows no matter what that they are loved care for and respected.. It's funny to me that people will bitch and complain all the time about what there "better half" does not do...why don't they ever bother to tell what they do, do...

The other part I find very funny is how many people seem to only be out for what they can get from the other person and I wonder why is that..I mean if you have found love why does it have to come with a dollar sign and a dollar value.

The best things I have ever gotten from pookie are not things done with huge dollar value, but things that are done with heart and with soul...Pookie has told me he would do anything for me to make me happy and take care of me, but the thing he still seems to never believe is that one of the best gifts I get from him is to love him and hold him and take care of him..it means to me that I am taking care of my man and making sure to make sure he knows all the time he is my man...

The little things pookie does, yes they mean the most but the day I get my engagement ring will be a day of fabulousness for me. not because he spent allot, not because it's got huge jewels but because he gave it to me....My journey even after all these years is just beginning with this amazing man and I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds.....

Shadows That go bump

It's strange to me how bed time means sooo many different things depending on who you ask..to mom's it's there chance for rest cause the kids are down...to kids it's there last minuet chance for a drink of water or potty break...to some it means time for sex, to others it's there only moment were they can talk to their loved ones about how there day may be.

I find bed time right now a time of frustration, frustration in the fact that I do not like being alone and fined being alone with my own thoughts to this level not a thing of comfort but in many case's a hindrance.

I find brief moments were I do embrace sleep but sleep does not embrace me and will not let me stay with in her embrace...Missing pookie is making is an issue for us both, because neither of us can sleep and we both at this moment find we sleep in shifts with our phone's with in reach to be able to hear from there other at a moment's notice...

I know soon Pookie and I will be reunited and sleep with be the third in our bed and I for one can not wait for this is the only way to have a threesome were no one will get jealous at all.

Opposites in many cases do attract

The old saying is that opposites attract, and I have to tell you it our case it is true...yes pookie and I have different many difference, in our taste in music, books, movies and TV shows, but that's fun for us because it allows us to not only have
something to talk about but something to pick on each other for...

Couple's don't have to have everything in common I believe it's fine not to because you should be learning about each other all the time and just when you think you know your partner you should learn something new if your lucky.

Pookie is younger than I am but I love the fact he act's older..and people always think he's older but I love picking on him for this because to me is so wonderful to know that this younger guy is more man then most out there..

I mean here he is with a huge important big boy job but his 1st thought is always about my welfare and if I'm happy...How many men would do that....

Yes I act younger then pookie ( :P ) but my favorite thing is knowing I'm taking care of him and making sure that MY man is happy and has what he needs..

When I talk to people who are younger many times I am shocked but how selfish they are even when there in a relationship there all about me me me me, I then have to wonder why is that, why are they scared to care or better yet are they just not able to care...

It's o.k if people think were old fashion, we don't care because yes we know who we are with one another...I like taking care of My man, I like cooking for him cleaning for him and making sure he knows he's loved...pookie likes making sure I feel loved safe and happy, we have many difference's but the main one is the fact we love each other...

So that being the case we can do no wrong with what ever we do with each other in life....

Trust...why is that a dirty word

I love to watch my TV and lord knows Me and my talk shows work it...but there is a new thing happening it seems that I really don't understand...and that's why, why are people so reluctant to trust, not just anyone one but trust the people that they have suppose to have given there hart's to.

It seems every time you turn around someone is telling you how to crack your honey's e-mail, or read there text's messages, there are companies they show you how to cheat help you make an appointment to cheat I mean why, why is that needed....

Here I am in California with my wonderful man in Florida and yes I could be stupid and try to be shady and so could he and we would never know, but the fact is we made a deal with one another a long time ago to be truthful and honest with one another, because if you start keeping the truth from one another then why be together....

I know in my hart that the trust I have in pookie is unbreakable and what's more fabulous is he knows the same is true for me. That's our foundation that we have for our relationship and sometimes it sucks because you have to be a big boy whether or not you like it....

I will say this it's an amazing adventure I have undertaken with pookie and it's an adventure that I am riding out because this is the most fabulous storey I could every dream of and man it is fun....

How Do You Know

When you watch a movie or read a book there is always a magic moment between the love interest that is the 1st sign that something amazing is going to happen, something magical if you will, however is this moment real is it something you can hold, taste smell maybe feel?

I had to wonder that for many years, because like most of us whether or not that was real and if I would ever have that magic moment when the lighting would strike.

Nine years ago I had that moment with this amazing man of mine, on a phone call talking threw a new years in 2001 this amazing man let me know that I meant a lot to him, he thanked me for not letting him spend another year alone, but what was interesting to me is this man shared a better gift with me one even he never saw coming and that was a future a future I never knew was possible at that time.

Nine Years ago this man became the love of my life, but not just that regular love, that love you read about, maybe dream about but are never really sure could happen....

What I never knew was that buy loving this man and being loved by him in return, I would started on an adventure i never knew was possible for me, one that involves laughter, tears, smiles and dreams...of things yet to be.


I write about this amazing man, this magical man in words when at times words are never enough to let this man know how amazing I truly believe he is..

This man the love of my life is the magical lighting I always read about and I know that I have been blessed to be struck in the soul to the very core of my being by the magical lighting of love a love that threw life, threw death, threw time and threw space will be a love that will last for all time......


So to you My Love, My Hart, my life, My Pookie I say thank you for this journey we are on together, because baby we are and will always be a team that let's not challenge stand in it's way.....

Happy anniversary ....The next 90 years are going to be a blast!!!