Sunday, February 13, 2011
I have found over the Last few weeks I'm looking at my self in a truly different way, I'm looking at what makes me a person, what makes me a man, what makes me for not another word me.
I am looking at how to let negativity go and to learn to savor moments for what they are and not worry about what they should be. I find sometimes people worry way to much about what moments should be and just don't except them.
Today I had the pleasure to spend this Sunday with my best friend in the whole world, my La Mari, we did breakfast, we did a movie we did Costco and took a walk at an orange grove.
Spending time with my friend let's me relax and enjoy the day and always it helps me realize the day is not my right but a gift I was given by God...I have come to realize more and more lately there is a higher power that is directing me a little more than ever before with my life.
the biggest difference I see from now from when I was younger is the fact I am ready to listen and be thankful for what is happening in my and pookie's life.
I feel at thirty eight I can and should see life not as a challenge but as a glorious adventure I am able to go on with true love in my pocket and amazing friends at my back with loving family waiting in the wings....
I wonder sometimes why did I finally hear what needed to happen, why was I know Strong enough or humble enough to listen to my little bird...My answer I don't know but I am blessed that I finally have.
From climbing a tree to moving across the country I know that I can't let fear rule my life, because If I do then it stops being life....The fact is however long we are allowed to be on this plant in this world, we need to live every moment and never take that for granted, because I know there are people out there who would trade place's with any of us in a moment..
The Saying is we don't stop playing cause we grow old/ we grow old because we stop playing..I for one will play for as long as I can..
Thursday, February 10, 2011
With Valentines day coming up it's funny to me the reaction people seem to have about this holiday. The almost forced way people feel they must show affection, they must be romantic, they must give gift's.
What I wonder is why people don't show love all the time? I mean if you are blessed to have someone to share your life with to laugh at your dumb jokes, why are you not letting them know how important they are to you and how much they mean to you.
Why do so many people bash there love one i mean what is the point for that..if you loved them why not remember what you loved about them and use that as a foundation to create and grow what the relationship is suppose to be.
What I have learned with pookie is not to play that game of "trying to change him" I mean what is the point of that, if I didn't love him with the good and the bad then why be with him...it makes no sense to me.
With pookie's love I found my friend, a love a playmate I found someone who laughs with me who will cry with me I found Love....I found my one my true and my last and only Valentine.
I found what people write about I hope more people. break out of the prison they have put there heart in and allow them self the chance to truly love and there by allow them selfs to be loved in return.....
So to my Valentine Mr. Gary Jess Carrillo A.K.A Pookie....thank you baby for allowing and showing me how to love and be loved,
Your love is sweeter than candy and more tasty then tacho's....
Saturday, February 5, 2011
This moving experience is by far not an easy adventure to undertake no matter who you are what what resource's you have at your disposal...Moving is taking your life and taking stock of it before re staring that life in a different destination.
It seems that we can be bogged down in what we believe are memories and what have you, but the truth of the matter is what in some case's are these so called memories attached to that we find them sooo important at the time.
What I find difficult in this part of our adventure is that fact that I am facing these memories alone and in many case's having to make the decision or choice on what's worth taking Vs. what is not.
Some would say that "that's easy just let go" but the fact is that when faced it a moment how do you let it go, and just because the physical part of the moment is let go do we truly loose that moment all together.
I know this move will be a glorious adventure for us with a glorious outcome on the other end, but I so wish we could have done this differently.
I will say this even at thirty eight it's nice to know I can still grow and I can still learn about my self..knowing that I'm stronger than I believed is a nice feeling and helps me know I am truly a better and stronger partner for pookie than I even knew I was before...
Learning and growing it seems never stops no matter the age and that's a good thing...
The saying is you can't teach an old dog new tricks but I guess in my case as long as the dog is fabulous we can still learn...
The day's are counting down and the boxes are getting packed so we need to keep going no matter what cause turning back is not an option and that's o.k with me.