Stronger and stronger through laughter regardless of the pain

 The last couple of years pookie and I have learned what it mean's to be a true couple, what it mean's to have up's down's and what it mean's to be a team to be a couple. He's on his way to california right now and if everything works out he will have the job he want's in his field and we will then move back from florida to california and that's ok because what we have learned and gained being in florida is a gift we can never regret nor loose. it helps knowing we go back more in love and stronger than ever before. The Love we have by some may not make sense  but to us it is made with humor love and respect. After that what else is there.

So We're ruining marriage are we.

  It's been a little while sense I last wrote and In that time life as we say has gone on and gone on with no true sign of stopping at all. Which is how it should be it seems now over the last few weeks the beloved Fiance has been laid off from the company that brought us to Florida for the adventure  we have been on over the last two years.
  Now we are facing a new chapter to this life we have build and new chapter a new era if u will of what we will undertake and what we will do together as one unit as one family as we are. It's strange to me soooo much of what we hear and what we read says that "Gays" will destroy marriage will destroy life as we know it but how is that possible, given the fact that for instance Pookie and I have made that pledge to one another were we support and prop each other up through the darkness and hold each other's hands through the light. How are we not a Family in ever sense of the word.

  I know many things as I have gotten older and I know nothing as I have gotten older and for that I find my self grateful and yet humble as well. Because what this new chapter is truly teaching me is this is the time when I truly must have not only faith but truly believe in the bound that pookie and I have made over the years to be together though-out our ups and Downs and through better or worse. To me I know that the bound we have makes god very proud of us and all we do and I know it makes my beloved mother who is our guardian angel know what her son and the man who he has chosen to spend his life with are on the right tract. So I see how we are running marriage.

Being a grown up is soooo over rated

 Being together with pookie for all the time we have is sometimes a little surreal to me and what it means's to us at times. Pookie and I try all the time to make every moment count. I'm learning from listening to what other people say (or rather complane) about is that savoring every moment is something people forget to do and because of that they seem to treat each other in a way that says, "your the one who is ruining my life".
That to me seems like such a strange reaction to have to someone your suppose to love and respect, however that as well seems to be an issue in that respect seems to be something that so many people don't have in there relationships and I for one just don't understand why?
Pookie and I decided a long time ago that honesty will be a huge key to us being together and what we build together is supported by our work and our love. I know I have to and should be willing to support him any way I can in what ever way he needs and he does the same.

  More people then ever before seem to keep wondering what the secret is to being together so long and to tell the truth all I can tell them is that we love and respect each other and more important we make each other laugh. We make every moment count and we plan on doing that as long as we are on this plant together.

Wounded Heart

  I'm finding it very interesting, lately so many people I work with seem to be sooo wounded and what's worse is the wounds seem to run sooo deep in so many way's. I find that these story's are all told to me all the time and I try to find the ability to always listen with out judgment and try when I hear the words in my mind to offer the advice I feel may be needed at that time. 
   So many people I come across need to just feel like someone is listening and what I find so interesting is the fact that it's such a small act to do for someone yet it can mean so much in the long run.

  I know the heart's and the soul's of these people will find healing and peace with time I feel like there is no other option to helping them find there way from the dark into the light. I do know this that act alone can require more strength than anything else known to man. 
   

Symbol of Love

  Symbols of togetherness are an amazing thing when I think about them, it seems that in so many case's couple's on many levels have symbols of there bond, a bond that on so many levels that to the naked eye it would seem silly or strange however one thing I have learned over time is that a symbol is also a key.
  What I mean by that is a key to unlock the passion the fire the love, but more than that the trust. Over ten years ago one day walking in the mall pookie wanted to buy me a gift for my birthday and kept showing a choice between a dragon and a blue crystal cross and something told me to Pick the cross. What I found after that was it was a symbol of a foundation of trust we used as a bedrock to what we have grown into.

   I know that pookie has given me a gift to dream once more and I look to ever day to live this dream and to have us dance on a cloud if we wanted. As we grow we dream and as we dream we grow into a bedrock of what we will always be through time and space. Spouse's for life.

The Chapters of My story.

     It's funny the way life is, and what I mean by that is that is if u look at life as chapters of a book where are u in your story and what I mean is what chapter. Once u decided that then I think the next thing is what kind of book do u want your story to be and maybe at some point u have to decided why u want it to be that. I know life is at times not easy but I decided long ago to make it better than I can everyday.
     I look back sometimes on the life my beloved mother had and what Chapter she was in during her life and what that meant to her. I also wanted my mother to be happier than I felt she was and not feel the anger and the pain she seemed so often to feel and experience.  For that I would have moved heaven and earth to re-wright her story to have a better ending than it did.
    I learned something important during viewing theses story's as it were and that is I have to do what I can to make my happy ending myself and not worry about what the world wants. I know one lesson that I have taken from the world  and keep true to myself and that's to savor the moments I can to find the joy that's whistling on the wind and hold it to my heart so that I can see my smile and watch it dance on the wind of life.

     I know that the Chapter I'm in right now is an exciting chapter of my adventure one that I know I can't wait for because this is the most exciting chapter I've had in awhile.

July 20th 2013

  I know that Next year will be a huge year for senor pookie and I because we have set the date we will join our souls together as one. See I always think of marriage or weddings as a true union of soul were we agree before Our friends and family and most importantly, Our selfs that we are bonding our souls   together as one and buy doing that we say that there will be no challenge we can not face together. The Key is we know we are a team and we have to be the ultimate team that together is unbeatable. I know even though we have been together for a decade we have so much un left story to tell..so I can't wait

Sooo Growing up finally at 40

    Well what's interesting to me at times is that people so often feel that after a certain age u have to grow up and that to many people seems to mean loosing your innocents at your ability to play and smile. I have always felt that no matter my age I am not to old to buy toys or read comics, dance around the house or watch cartoons. However the one thing I can't run or hide from is the fact that because of my diabetes's I have now had to take a more proactive approach to my health and how much control I have over it.

  What is so strange to me is I have been using this illness not as a weakness but as a source for discovering with in my self an inner courage to finally take a portion of my self and allow this part to grow up or better yet mature some and during this process I have found that the 1st time in years My weight is starting to lessen some and it's allowing me to experience new aspects of life that for awhile I thought were denied to me, such as clothing buying or bike riding. The fact is there is nothing I can't do if I want to do it, I just have to realize mind and body are two different things my mind may say "hey your not that old" my body may say "ah yup u are" but I have to know that, that's OK and I should never beat my self up over that fact because it's OK change takes time But I have to remember Fabulousness is forever.

Forever

   It's funny to me how so many people look at forever as a bad thing as something to be afraid of and never strive to go towards but what I wonder is that a bad thing? we live right now in a world that seems to be soooo afraid of forever and what it means's, I mean we live in a world that when things get to hard u can just get out of it and say " hey it's irreconcilable difference" and be done but why why do we not have the strength to fight for what we believe in, and better yet if you are fighting why is it because u believe this is the person for u this is the person u love u like the person who makes u smile and giggle and u flirt and it's still fun.

 Forever is not a bad word, My beloved Grandparents were together for fifty years before my Grandfather passed, I find that soooo great because when I look at my pookie I see the man I met ten years ago and the man now and I laugh at this nerdyness his humor his wit but I smile at knowing his love for me is unlike anything I have ever known. Does it matter that were both men, nope it matters we want to keep building our life together  I will enjoy watching him get older because he as my pookie is truly fabulous and will be mine forever.

2012

It's very funny to me how 2012 is a promise of untold potentale of dreams and promise yet to be. What I really don't understand is the complaining I am hearing on only the 3rd day of the year how horrible everything is, I mean when did people forget that life is what we make of it, This new years eve was my ten year anniversary with Pookie and what was so wonderful is the fact he used that as the time to ask me to marry him :() I mean wow I felt my head spin a bit but then I realized that it's a dream of a tomorrow I always wanted and it's now on its way to coming into being. We're looking at this year as a time of preparation a time to rally our strength and ability to afford what we want to do. I'm looking at this year to be fun to be adveterous to be mystical and magical as the year should be. I know that's the choice I'm making.