Symbol of Love

  Symbols of togetherness are an amazing thing when I think about them, it seems that in so many case's couple's on many levels have symbols of there bond, a bond that on so many levels that to the naked eye it would seem silly or strange however one thing I have learned over time is that a symbol is also a key.
  What I mean by that is a key to unlock the passion the fire the love, but more than that the trust. Over ten years ago one day walking in the mall pookie wanted to buy me a gift for my birthday and kept showing a choice between a dragon and a blue crystal cross and something told me to Pick the cross. What I found after that was it was a symbol of a foundation of trust we used as a bedrock to what we have grown into.

   I know that pookie has given me a gift to dream once more and I look to ever day to live this dream and to have us dance on a cloud if we wanted. As we grow we dream and as we dream we grow into a bedrock of what we will always be through time and space. Spouse's for life.

The Chapters of My story.

     It's funny the way life is, and what I mean by that is that is if u look at life as chapters of a book where are u in your story and what I mean is what chapter. Once u decided that then I think the next thing is what kind of book do u want your story to be and maybe at some point u have to decided why u want it to be that. I know life is at times not easy but I decided long ago to make it better than I can everyday.
     I look back sometimes on the life my beloved mother had and what Chapter she was in during her life and what that meant to her. I also wanted my mother to be happier than I felt she was and not feel the anger and the pain she seemed so often to feel and experience.  For that I would have moved heaven and earth to re-wright her story to have a better ending than it did.
    I learned something important during viewing theses story's as it were and that is I have to do what I can to make my happy ending myself and not worry about what the world wants. I know one lesson that I have taken from the world  and keep true to myself and that's to savor the moments I can to find the joy that's whistling on the wind and hold it to my heart so that I can see my smile and watch it dance on the wind of life.

     I know that the Chapter I'm in right now is an exciting chapter of my adventure one that I know I can't wait for because this is the most exciting chapter I've had in awhile.

July 20th 2013

  I know that Next year will be a huge year for senor pookie and I because we have set the date we will join our souls together as one. See I always think of marriage or weddings as a true union of soul were we agree before Our friends and family and most importantly, Our selfs that we are bonding our souls   together as one and buy doing that we say that there will be no challenge we can not face together. The Key is we know we are a team and we have to be the ultimate team that together is unbeatable. I know even though we have been together for a decade we have so much un left story to tell..so I can't wait

Sooo Growing up finally at 40

    Well what's interesting to me at times is that people so often feel that after a certain age u have to grow up and that to many people seems to mean loosing your innocents at your ability to play and smile. I have always felt that no matter my age I am not to old to buy toys or read comics, dance around the house or watch cartoons. However the one thing I can't run or hide from is the fact that because of my diabetes's I have now had to take a more proactive approach to my health and how much control I have over it.

  What is so strange to me is I have been using this illness not as a weakness but as a source for discovering with in my self an inner courage to finally take a portion of my self and allow this part to grow up or better yet mature some and during this process I have found that the 1st time in years My weight is starting to lessen some and it's allowing me to experience new aspects of life that for awhile I thought were denied to me, such as clothing buying or bike riding. The fact is there is nothing I can't do if I want to do it, I just have to realize mind and body are two different things my mind may say "hey your not that old" my body may say "ah yup u are" but I have to know that, that's OK and I should never beat my self up over that fact because it's OK change takes time But I have to remember Fabulousness is forever.

Forever

   It's funny to me how so many people look at forever as a bad thing as something to be afraid of and never strive to go towards but what I wonder is that a bad thing? we live right now in a world that seems to be soooo afraid of forever and what it means's, I mean we live in a world that when things get to hard u can just get out of it and say " hey it's irreconcilable difference" and be done but why why do we not have the strength to fight for what we believe in, and better yet if you are fighting why is it because u believe this is the person for u this is the person u love u like the person who makes u smile and giggle and u flirt and it's still fun.

 Forever is not a bad word, My beloved Grandparents were together for fifty years before my Grandfather passed, I find that soooo great because when I look at my pookie I see the man I met ten years ago and the man now and I laugh at this nerdyness his humor his wit but I smile at knowing his love for me is unlike anything I have ever known. Does it matter that were both men, nope it matters we want to keep building our life together  I will enjoy watching him get older because he as my pookie is truly fabulous and will be mine forever.

2012

It's very funny to me how 2012 is a promise of untold potentale of dreams and promise yet to be. What I really don't understand is the complaining I am hearing on only the 3rd day of the year how horrible everything is, I mean when did people forget that life is what we make of it, This new years eve was my ten year anniversary with Pookie and what was so wonderful is the fact he used that as the time to ask me to marry him :() I mean wow I felt my head spin a bit but then I realized that it's a dream of a tomorrow I always wanted and it's now on its way to coming into being. We're looking at this year as a time of preparation a time to rally our strength and ability to afford what we want to do. I'm looking at this year to be fun to be adveterous to be mystical and magical as the year should be. I know that's the choice I'm making.

The Begining

  It's the Day before Turkey-day and I have a lot of memories going in my head right now, because last year at this time was when my world would start to change. Pookie got a huge opportunity to come to Florida and work in this field of 3-D animation and I felt I had to no that's the wrong word I wanted to stand behind him and give him this change to make this happen for him and for us. He's working to make us a life and make our family strong..Now what I have to do is find the courage in me to realize this is important and I can't be side because life is different. I have to know that life is change or better yet an adventure because if u don't keep playing the game what's the point?

   What I mean by that is I have to find my smile I have to find my joy and bring it to us as a couple and what we are building and have together.  I know things are not always rose's and rainbow's and that's OK because when they are there fabulous and when there not well that's OK because with us a deal is a deal and there is no escape...:)